From: R & S Scarcella & Family [inbox@webpastor.com] Sent: Tuesday, 5 December 2000 10:23 PM To: hitsters@webpastor.com Subject: CoGS Weekly Hits! 2000 Vol.12 No. 1 =================================================== YOUR CoGS WEEKLY HITS! - FREE NETMAGAZINE =================================================== distributed by Rev. Rocco & Mrs. Susan Scarcella from Church of the Good Shepherd Bossley Park NSW Australia WEBSITE: www.webpastor.com ITEMS, JOKES ETC TO: hits@webpastor.com SUBSCRIBE: subscribe@webpastor.com UNSUBSCRIBE: unsubscribe@webpastor.com (Please write "no hits" in the subject frame) HITS! ARCHIVES: Go to... http://www.webpastor.com/hits/index.htm WHAT IS CHRISTIANITY?: Go to... http://www.christianity.net.au HELP BLIMBINGSARI ORPHANAGE?: Go to... http://www.webpastor.com/miss&supp.htm LIKE YOUR OWN FREE EMAIL ADDRESS & MORE? Go to... http://www.webpastor.com/free-mail.htm *************************************************** Dear NetFamily, 'Tis the season! All the Christmas pageants are on and the miracle of the season is revealed: this may be the ONLY time that some kids ever get to be angels!LOL! READING FROM THE WORD OF GOD "But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times." Therefore Israel will be abandoned until the time when she who is in labor gives birth and the rest of his brothers return to join the Israelites. He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the LORD, in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God. And they will live securely, for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth. And he will be their peace. Micah 5:2-5 (NIV) Does the world look like it's out of control? Sure it does! But the reality may not be so. In the 8th and 7th centuries BC, it seemed that the world was falling apart. Israel had turned its back on the true God, and was under threat of destruction by Assyria. Yet God assured them through the words of the prophet Micah that the Messiah was still coming, that His chosen one would be born, and in an obscure little village which had produced only one famous person in its entire history: the great King David. The significance of this cannot be overlooked. Little Bethlehem would bring forth another great king, but this time His reign would never end. TESTIMONY "I'm crying as I write my story. It's been just a year since the Spirit of God did brain surgery on me without any scars and delivered me from a gambling habit that hurt my family, my church, my health and my God. Starting at nineteen with small wagers, I built up debts of over forty thousand dollars and was seriously considering suicide. I had trusted my instincts instead of Jesus who had warned me about being in the company of "hollow men," without realizing I was one of them. It was the Spirit of God along with Gambler's Anonymous who turned my life around, healed my body and gave me a tongue that wants to tell everyone how it happened. -Tom PRAYER POINTS ***Thank God that He has not abandoned this world, despite the fact that the world has largely turned its back on God. ***Thank God that His promise of a Messiah came true, and that we can trust Him. *** Praise Him for the promise that Jesus will return in glory. ***Pray for those we know that do not yet acknowledge Jesus as their Saviour. Let us determine to tell as many as possible about God's love this Christmas. *** Pray for those who are in trouble, whether through war, natural disaster, sickness, or financial worries. Pray that God will give them a sense of His presence. *** Pray for outreach at Christmas. Pray that God's Spirit will precede everything we do and turn hearts to the King. ***Keep little Amelia D in your prayers. Thank God that she is putting on weight. There are some little health problems that are preventing her from even greater progress. Keep her parents and big sister Astrid in your thoughts. *** Sue's mum is continuing to sink. Pray for her. Thank God that He has called her to Himself and she has said yes. HAHAHA CORNER ***MY RESUME My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as an historian until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working at a coffee shop, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. You got any ideas? I'm open for suggestions...maybe you have something that WORKS...because I don't. -Anon. ***Addition to our Bible jokes of last week: Bruce C writes: Up 'til now I had missed David rising to be a ruler as one of the smallest men in the Bible. However may I suggest another: Bildad the Shuhite (Job 2:11) *** A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" "Yes," she replied. "Do you read your Bible every day?" She nodded her head, "Yes." Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered,"Yes." With that he asked his final question, "Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?" -Pat C ***STRAY CAT STRUT Stray cats will not be fed. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture. Stray cats will be permitted on furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal rope scratching post with three perches. Stray cats will sleep outside. Stray cats will sleep in the garage. Stray cats will sleep in the house, but not in our bed. Stray cats will sleep in our bed, but not under the covers. Stray cats will not play on the desk. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it. Stray cats will not CJDJBEFUBEDBVKJB KNCX ZXMNLJN! -Anon. ============================================================ We have our first entries in the Clean Joke Contest. Keep sending them in for a prize, to be announced in Vol.12 No.4... Rocco and Sue. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++