From: R & S Scarcella & Family [inbox@webpastor.com]
Sent: Wednesday, 29 November 2000 10:46 AM
To: hits@webpastor.com
Subject: CoGS Weekly Hits! 2000 Vol.11. No 5

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YOUR CoGS WEEKLY HITS! - FREE NETMAGAZINE
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distributed by Rev. Rocco & Mrs. Susan Scarcella 
from Church of the Good Shepherd 
Bossley Park NSW Australia
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Dear Net Family,

We have a big concern this week: statistics are 
saying that every person in Australia has $5,000 on
credit cards, is putting $180 a month down the poker
machine slots and drinking several hundred litres 
of beer. Well, since WE have not been doing this,  
we can only presume that there is someone in a club
somewhere using our credit card to buy beer and play 
the poker machines! Someone please find that person! 

READING FROM THE WORD OF GOD
To some who were confident of their own righteousness 
and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this 
parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one 
a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee 
stood up and prayed about himself: `God, I thank 
you that I am not like other men - robbers, evildoers, 
adulterers - or even like this tax collector. 
I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' 
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would 
not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and 
said, `God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' 
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, 
went home justified before God. For everyone who 
exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles 
himself will be exalted."
Luke 18:9-14 (NIV)

Don't you see them everywhere? In churches, in 
organisations charitable and non-charitable ,in clubs
...they proliferate like bacteria in a sweet medium. 
And they talk... "Did you see such and such?" "Do you 
know what they have or have not done?" "I'm so glad 
that I am not like them." "They are such bad parents." 
"They are so emotional. "They drink far too much." 
"Their houses are not up to scratch...not like mine!" 
If we liken our good deeds to swimming ability, then 
we see the folly of self-glorification. Imagine you 
are a reasonable swimmer 100km off the coast in a 
boat with a non-swimmer and a long-distance champion.
The boat sinks and all must swim towards shore.
The non-swimmer goes down immediately, but you
and the champion strike out towards safety.
A few kilometres along, you start to flounder. 
As you sink beneath the waves, you hear the
mocking laughter of the champion. "Hahaha! I am
a much better swimmer than you." But even he
cannot swim 100km and eventually he, too, drowns. 
What was the worth of his boasting? Would it have
done any good you having boasted of a better ability
than the non-swimmer? No! All of you drowned. The 
only way of salvation would have been for someone to 
have come from the shore in a rescue boat and saved
you all. Remember that, when you are next tempted to 
boast of your better qualities: Jesus Christ came to 
rescue sinners!

TESTIMONY
"On November Seventeenth I accepted Jesus Christ as 
my Lord and Saviour. It took me a long time to really 
go forth with it. I have a lot on my mind dealing with 
school and peer pressure being that I am only in the 
Ninth grade. I was praying for a long time that God 
would help me through with my problems in my life but 
I failed to realise that others had been praying for 
me as well. Everything does not go as we would want 
it to go but "Through Christ who strengthens us, all 
things are possible". I just want to thank God for 
saving me and for all that He will do in the future." 
-Carolyn.

PRAYER POINTS
***Thank the Lord that He is a God who saves sinners!
***Thank the Lord that we do not have to be "good 
enough" to "earn" His love, that He gives it freely 
in Christ Jesus.
***Praise God for little Amelia D's weight gain! She 
has put on 500g (1lb)in 2 weeks, which is the best she 
has ever done. Pray for mum Lynn and dad Mark, as they 
cope with intense feeding schedules, and for little 
Astrid, who is unsettled.
***Pray for areas devasted by floods,including Australia, 
Europe and Western Indonesia.
***Pray for a letter of permission to take the goods 
for the orphanage through customs in Indonesia. Thank 
God for the generosity of H & family and B & family, who 
will transport them for us. Pray for the two families as 
they travel, that God will keep them safe and grant them 
a restful time.
***Thank God for the generosity of companies such as 
"Addis Aust." who have donated over 700 toothbrushes for 
the children in Blimbingsari, and "Macdonald's", who have 
donated toys.
*** Sue's mum, Barbara, has been in hospital again this 
week. She needed a blood transfusion. Pray for her and 
the family as they all cope with this.
***Pray for outreaches over Christmas. The word of God 
has been going out in the local schools. Pray that these 
children and their families will come to church events, 
perhaps even for the first time over Christmas.
***Pray for all those seeking employment at this time:
especially Luciano R, George B, Warren C and Roy W.
***Thank God for continued contact with Nermin from 
Bosnia and that he is well and free of panic attacks. 
Pray for him and his family.

HAHAHA CORNER
***Expensive Operation
A woman wanted to remove the wrinkles from around 
her eyes, so she consulted a plastic surgeon.  
After the examination the doctor explained that 
it was an expensive procedure.  
The vain woman was insistent that she have the 
surgery. "I need to restore my good looks.  I need 
these wrinkles removed. Just tell me how much it 
will cost." 
The doctor thoughtfully answered, "Well, there is 
one operation I can perform that will remove those 
wrinkles and the bags under your eyes.  The surgery 
is really rather expensive.  It will cost $2000 
down, and payments of $450 for 36 months, plus 
payments for extras."
"What?!" the woman exclaimed, "That sounds like 
leasing a new sports car!"
"Hmm," the doctor murmured, "that obvious, huh?"
-Anon.

***DO YOU HAVE A SPELL CHECKER?
Eye halve a spelling chequer.
It came with my pee sea.
It plainly marques four my revue,
Miss steaks eye kin not sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word,
And weight four it two say.
Weather eye am wrong oar write,
It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid,
It nose bee fore two long,
And eye can put the error rite,
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it,
I am shore your pleased to no,
Its letter perfect awl the weigh,
My chequer tolled me sew.
Sauce unknown
-submitted by Gerri Ricci

***On the Witness Stand
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties 
are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot 
better than the penalty for murder.
-Anon.

Q: What is the difference between an English 
statistician and a Sicilian statistician?
A: An English statistician knows how many 
people will die in the next year. A Sicilian 
statistician knows their names.
-Anon.

***TESTAMENTAL DEFECTIVE 
submitted by Donal Sullivan

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah. He floated a limited stock while everyone 
else was in liquidation.

Q: What was the greatest female financier in the 
Bible?
A: Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank 
of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson, because he brought the house down.

Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children 
as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned 
in the Bible?
A: David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep 
sleep.

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.

Q: Who was the smallest guy in the Bible?
A: Three possibilities: 
1. David, because he rose to be a ruler.
2. Ne-hi-miah.
3. The Philippian gaoler (Philippians 16:7) 
because he slept on his watch!

Q: Who was the fastest man in the Bible?
A: Adam, because he came first in the human race.

Q: Who missed out on an Olympic medal in the Bible?
A: Lazarus, because he "came forth".(John 11:43 KJV)

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A MYSTERY PRIZE FOR THE BEST CLEAN JOKE RECEIVED BEFORE
CHRISTMAS DAY!
Have you got any good clean jokes? At the end of December, 
we will we select "the best clean joke" submitted and 
award a prize.  Email them to hits@webpastor.com 
All entrants must be subscribed to this HITS! e-zine.
Put those thinking caps on, now and tell your friends!
Bye for now!
Rocco and Sue.
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