From: R & S Scarcella & Family [inbox@webpastor.com]
Sent: Wednesday, 21 June 2000 11:19 PM
To: inbox@webpastor.com
Subject: CoGS Weekly Hits! 2000 Vol. 6 No. 3

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YOUR CoGS WEEKLY HITS! - FREE NETMAGAZINE
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distributed by Rev. Rocco & Mrs. Susan Scarcella
from Church of the Good Shepherd
Bossley Park NSW Australia
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ITEMS, JOKES ETC TO: hits@webpastor.com
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Dear NetFamily,
Today is the exact centre of the year. We, at CoGS,
thought you might like to know that. Just so you can
go to your place of work or play and say to your friends
with authority: "Today is the exact centre of the year.
And I heard it from Rocco and Sue."

READING FROM THE WORD OF GOD

JAMES 4:11 “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone
who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against
the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not
keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”

My mother was right. I remember as I was growing up, coming
home and complaining about the behavior of one of my classmates.
I can still hear her words of wisdom ringing in my ears,“If you
can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all.” As I grew,
she tried to instill in me this one simple rule, which should be
a rule we should all live by each day.
Criticism and judgments done against others are often done in ignorance;
the ignorance of the one criticizing that is. To be a TRUE judge you must
KNOW all of the facts. The problem is, WE DO NOT KNOW ALL of the facts
about those for whom we find reason for criticism. There was an old
Indian saying that went something like this, “Do not judge a man
until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”
Many a life has been destroyed when the simple rule my mother taught
was negated. Neither you nor I have the right to criticize, judge or
slander another person. Only God is ALL seeing, ALL knowing, ALL wisdom
and ALL fairness; we on the other hand are ALL WRONG when we stand in
judgment of anyone. So the best advice I can give you today, “Listen
to my Mother!”

--Penny, Minister to Women www.totalechurch.com

TESTIMONY
We often ask you to pray for other Netsters who are in problems.
Here, Patti in Florida, writes to tell you how your prayers have
helped her.
"Hello my friends. I just wanted to tell you that my kidneys are
holding their own for now. Not 100% but very close to it. I know
that God did this and all of your prayers and others all over the
world have been heard. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
And know that one day God will have them at 100% again. *smile*"
--Patti

*Many of you prayed for our band "Heaven's Scent" and their gig
at the "World's Longest Buffet" Go to this page for the answers
to your prayers! http://www.webpastor.com/pr003.htm

PRAYER POINTS
**Thank God that he can free us from the spirit of criticism that
so works in this world.
**Thank Him that He is a God of positive things. He loves. He saves.
He cares. He helps.
**Praise God that His presence was felt at the World's Longest Buffet
in Sydney on Sunday. Pray that the seeds sown will continue to grow in
peoples' hearts.
** Keep praying for the trouble spots of the world: Fiji, The Solomon
Islands, Timor, various parts of Indonesia, Africa, that peace will
"break out" and healing begin.
** Pray for the poor of the world who are often exploited in their
desires for better lives. Remember the families of those 58 who have
died in that truck in England.
** Thank God for Sue's mother's spiritual growth and improvement
physically. She took some weight on her feet yesterday, which will
help as she manouvers from bed to chair and similar. Sue prayed with
her on the phone yesterday too. Pray for an easy transition from
Queensland to Sydney hospitals.
** Keep praying for our family as it heads to Indonesia soon. We are
still waiting on permission for excess baggage and for a letter of
acknowledgement from the Indonesian Consul in Sydney to help us through
customs in Bali.
**Keep praying for unity of spirit in the church of God, and for healing in
congregations where there has been tension. Praise God for signs of
recovery.
**Keep Barry B in your prayers as he recovers from eye surgery. Praise God
for Barry's testimony to the medical staff who operate on him.
** Trisha C had a baby boy David Eli last Thursday. Mother and son are well,
praise God. She was at church last Sunday with the little darling. Pray for
the family as it bonds together. Gina L and Lynn D are still expecting, but
the time is getting closer!

HAHAHA CORNER
**Top Signs You're Bored at Work
You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar
for 2000.
You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough
produces images of Elvis.
You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your
ceiling.
The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin
Infantry, and General White-Out has called for
reinforcements.
-submitted by Paul Dugas and Chris Foley

**  BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN
You are working on your family genealogy and you find
that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, was hanged for
horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of
Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the
picture are the words "Remus Starr-Horse thief, sent to Montana
Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer
six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged,
1889." Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a
bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and
edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen
is a head shot.
Next, we rewrite the text:
"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His
business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian
assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.
Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service
at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings
with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation
run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed
away during an important civic function held in his honor when the
platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
--submitted by Don Muse

**CREATIVE ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES
-Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on
your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your
touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch
tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it
is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big
time phone system.

-(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please
wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press
pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If
you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask
for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave
your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a
circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP.

-This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason
for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about
returning your call.

-I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid
talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me
out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

-Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

-This is Dan's answering machine. Please leave your name and number,
and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a
federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

-I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an
answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe
YOU don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if
it's reality, I will call you back.

-Bridge, Kirk here.
Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? -- Captain, there is
a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on
screen?
(Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final
frontier.
(Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two
semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number.
(Voice 3:) To boldly inform you to wait for the tone.

-Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me
pull their message out of this machine!
Rocky: Again?
Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking,
stops abruptly.)
Bullwinkle: Must have been a wrong number.
Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.

-Kemosabe no in teepee now. You leave'um message after little
smoke signal, and Kemosabe get back for pow-wow real fast.

-[VOICE 1] Answer the phone, please, Hal.
 [VOICE 2] I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.

-[Sung to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries"] Leave me a message...
leave me a message....etc.

-This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name
and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word
is acetylcholinesterase.

- After the tone, please leave a massage--my shoulders really could use it,
and, what? You're only supposed to leave a MESSAGE? Darn....
--submitted by Wayne Sole
======================
At the third stroke this ezine will end BEEP BEEP B...
Bye!
Rocco & Sue

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