From: Rocco Scarcella [rocco@webpastor.com]
Sent: Wednesday, 19 January 2000 9:05 AM
To: Susan Scarcella
Subject: CoGS Weekly Hits! 2000 Vol 1 No.3


YOUR CoGS WEEKLY HITS! - FREE NETMAGAZINE
distributed by Rev. Rocco & Mrs. Susan Scarcella from
Church of the Good Shepherd Bossley Park NSW Australia
WEBSITE: www.webpastor.com
ITEMS, JOKES ETC TO: hits@webpastor.com
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WHAT IS CHRISTIANITY?: http://www.christianity.net.au
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Dear NetFamily,
Looks as though we are just about to get a true Aussie summer's day
today. They say it will be 38 deg C (100 deg F)! Not looking forward
to that! Though we suppose for those of you on the other side of the
world, any hint of warmth would be nice!

READING FROM THE WORD OF GOD

Not everyone who says fo me, "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of
heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Many will say to me on that day," Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy
in your name,and in your name drive out demons and perform many
miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, "I never knew you. Away from
me, you evildoers!"
Matthew 7:21-23 (NIV)

We were watching the American music awards last night and playing "Spot
the Christian". After all, we hear that many celebrities have turned to
Jesus and there are rumours of still others. So who were the Christians
present? Was it one of the rappers, half of whose song was bleeped out?
Was it the winner who said, "Firstly I want to thank the Lord",
who had been honoured for her work amongst cancer victims, but whose
dress looked like(to quote a newreader)"an accident waiting to happen".
Or was it the excited artist who forgot to say "Thank you Jesus", but who
is widely rumoured to be a Christian? Hard to tell really. Ultimately only
God Himself knows who are His own, but on the Day of Judgement, there will
surely be a lot of entertainers saying to Jesus, " Lord Lord did we not
mention you as we accepted the awards?" and sadly, Jesus will reply,
"I never knew you". And what about you and me? When the time comes for
us to attend that final awards ceremony,let our lives reflect our words.

TESTIMONY
This is from a believer in the States:

"I had an affair with a married man. I knew it was a sin and I wanted out
of that relationship. Jesus delivered me from him. I resigned from my job
to be separated from him amd then got a better job. My relationship with
the LORD stayed lukewarm and I compromised with the 'world' and its
pleasures. Then I got fired. I was devastated! I had nothing, the
prestige, the big salary, the car, even friends. They were all gone.
I cried out to the LORD. HE opened my eyes to my real problem. I really
didn't know Him. I then comitted my life to the Lord and He has been at
my side, guiding me like a Father does his child. He washed me completely
from my past sins, healed me and gave me a new job."
--Rose.
"Call upon Me and I will show you great and mighty things." (Jeremiah 33:3).

PRAYER POINTS
**Thank the Lord for His faithfulness, even when we are unfaithful.
**Ask the Lord to help us be consistent in our lives, and to reflect
Jesus in all that we do, think and say.
** Bryan S asks us to remember the family of Samantha Keethe
who died Monday January 18 of Bone Marrow Cancer.
**Pray for Rosa S suffering mastitis at the moment. But praise God
that little Laura is growing well.
**Pray for all the pregnant mums, Trisha C, Cathy S, Violet F and
Gina L.
**An elderly sister, Lorna N, passed away this week. Sue and Rocco
were greatly encouraged by this gentle soul during nursing home
visits. Praise God that she is now in the presence of her Saviour.
**For Peter J. recovering at home from cancer surgery of the lung.
**For wisdom in decision-making as we plan under God to serve Him
where He would have us - in the things he has "prepared in advance
for us to do".

HAHAHA CORNER

**MOM & DAD'S DICTIONARY

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone
through labor to think about having a second child.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to
order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the
proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial
disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't
appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
verything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling
it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman
pyjamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins
to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...

--submitted by Jennie Graham

**THE REWARDS OF LYING
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of
about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the
dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?" One of
the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all
want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that
whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the
dog."

Of course, the Reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having
a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten
minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a
sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told
a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the Reverend was
beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave
a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
--submitted by Pat Croisant

**The Best Worst Country-Western Songs
(yep.... these are for real)

1. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

2. You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

4. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

5. She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft

6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

7. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

8. Thank goodness And Greyhound She's Gone

9. If You Don't Leave Me Alone I'll Go And Find Someone Else
Who Will

10. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In
Your Welfare Line

11. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

12. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John
Was Breaking My Heart

13. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight Because I'm Afraid
She'd Win

14. They May Put Me In Prison But They Can't Stop My Face From
Breaking Out

--submitted by Wayne Sole
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Sue: "Hey, Rocco, what do you get if you play a C&W record backwards?"
Rocco: "Dunno. What?"
Sue: "Well, your girlfriend stays, your pickup starts first time and your
dog comes home!"
Rocco: "(Groan)Until next week, guys and gals."
--Rocco and Sue
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