From: Rocco Scarcella [rocco@webpastor.com] Sent: Wednesday, 12 January 2000 12:04 PM To: rocco@webpastor.com Subject: CoGS Weekly Hits 2000 Vol.1 No.2 YOUR CoGS WEEKLY HITS! - FREE NETMAGAZINE distributed by Rev. Rocco & Mrs. Susan Scarcella from Church of the Good Shepherd Bossley Park NSW Australia WEBSITE: www.webpastor.com ITEMS, JOKES ETC TO: hits@webpastor.com SUBSCRIBE: subscribe@webpastor.com UNSUBSCRIBE: unsubscribe@webpastor.com (Please write "no hits" in the subject frame) WHAT IS CHRISTIANITY?: http://www.christianity.net.au ======================================================== Dear NetFamily: We would like to inform you that Sue's computer has gone to that big scrap heap in the sky. In appreciation, Sue would like to say a few words : My computer made a big imPRINT on my life. Quite a BIT of my time has been spent in its company. The FAX are clear: it was more than just an ACCESSORY. How will we get by without it? We can STORE up our MEMORIES, I suppose, but TYPEs like my computer are hard to FIND.You C:/, something DRIVEs us to SEARCH out computers of this kind, and then they become FAVORITES. We end off BYTEing off far more than we can chew, and thinking about our computers in various SETTINGS. So...let us FILE past my computer in or ON LINE. susan@webpastor.com READING FROM THE WORD OF GOD Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out its seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table. She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point of the city. "Let all who are simple come in here!" she says to those who lack judgment. "Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding." Proverbs 9:1-6 (NIV) Look at the beautiful imagery associated with Wisdom's invitation: a solid and well built home, with seven pillars, representing the number of God Himself, a table piled with food and fine wine, and the idea of gentility and nobility, conveyed by the sending out of maids. In the latter part of this chapter, Folly is represented as "undisciplined and without knowledge". She is "loud" and sits at her door like a lady of ill-repute, calling out to passers-by. Folly's water is stolen, but she claims that it is sweet. Doesn't it always seems so? Doesn't the world call to us via the media, our work colleagues,our sports club members, even our family at times, that the "food eaten in secret is delicious" (v17). But it is all an illusion, friends. Those who follow the words of Folly find out only too sadly that "her guests are in the depths of the grave." TESTIMONY "Never Begging Bread" " For over eight months, Totalehurch.com has been on the cutting edge of internet Ministry. All of us are involved in an experiment that I believe will change Christendom for ever! This experiment has not been without it's challenges; one of which is financial. As Pastor and wife of Totalechurch.com, Penny and I made a decision that we would not beg for money, but would put the finances in to God's hands. Last month we reached a crises point in the ministry. Bills were piling up and we were at a crossroads of re-examining whether Totalechurch.com was going to survive. Penny and I made it a matter of prayer and put the situation in God's hands. Little did we know that God had already impressed one of our members to send T.E.C. a donation. It arrived the day before our largest (and most menacing) bill came due!! The amount was within a few dollars of the total amount owed! Penny and I sat on our couch in glorified amazement at what God had done! If you are facing a tough situation, take encouragement from this testimony! Believe in Proverbs 37:25 "For I was young and now I am old and I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed begging bread" God will always provide a way!" --Pastor Lyndon http://www.totalechurch.com PRAYER POINTS *Thank God that He knows our needs even better than we do. *Praise Him for providing for us over and beyond our daily needs. *Thank Him continually for His grace, shown to us in Christ Jesus. *Ask Him to teach us to forgive, to love and to serve others. *Larry B has asked us to pray for his brother:"Please pray for my brother David. Recently I found out he returned to a life of drugs and alcohol. Dave is a diabetic with a severely deformed heart. I would just like to see him accept the Lord as his personal saviour and that he sees the Light!" *Keep praying for the growth of Wayne and Rosa's baby, Laura. She is doing very well. Pray for Trisha C, Cathy S, Violet F, Gina L and other pregnant mums. *Pray for those we know who are unwell - especially Peter J. recoverying from lung surgery & elderly Dorrie T. after a recent fall. *Thank God for the continued impact of Arthur Stace's "Eternity" Message. HAHAHA CORNER ***(This set of funnies, from Wayne Sole, should give you a laugh) COURSES FOR WOMEN 1. Silence, the Final Fontier : Where no women has gone before 2. The Undiscovered side of banking : Making deposits 3. Parties : Going without new outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores can wait till after the game 5. Bathroom Etiquette 1: Men need space in the bathroom cabinet too. 6. Bathroom Etiquette 2: His razor is his 7. Communication Skills 1: Tears - the last resort, not the first. 8. Communication Skills 2: Thinking before speaking 9. Communication Skills 3: Getting what you want without nagging 10. Driving a car safely: A skill you CAN acquire 11. Telephone Skills: How to hang up 12. Introduction to parking 13. Advanced Parking: Backing into a space 14: Compliments: Accepting them Gracefully 15: Dancing: Why men don't like to 16: Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits you already have 17: Household dust: A harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women notice 18: Integrating your laundry: Washing it all together 19: Oil and Gas: Your car needs both 20: Cooking 1: Bran and Tofu are not for Human Consumption 21: Cooking 2: How not to inflict your diets on other people. 22: TV remotes: For men only (Of course, all of these are purely fictional, aren't they?!) *** It's All In The Name PROFESSION NAME Lawyer's daughter: Sue Thief's son: Rob Lawyer's son: Will Doctor's son: Bill Meteorologist's daughter: Haley Steam shovel operator's son: Doug Hair Stylist's son: Bob Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary Sound stage technician's son: Mike Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank Gambler's daughter: Bette Exercise guru's son: Jim Cattle Thief's son: Russell Painter's son: Art Iron worker's son: Rusty TV show star's daughter: Emmy Movie star's son: Oscar Barber's son: Harry -submitted by Phil Matthews Phil also gave us this joke for those of us who remember the 60s: ***A man went to the doctors one morning. "Doctor, Doctor," he said, "I can't stop singing 'Green Green Grass of Home to myself !" "Really?" said the Doctor. "That sounds to me like what we refer to as 'Tom Jones' Syndrome." "Good heavens ! Is that very common, Doc?" "It's not unusual !" ***...and this piece of trivia, in reference to Sue's computer crash: "I read in New Scientist magazine that modern PCs, in terms of the number of IC transistor circuits and data bit storage, have about the same capacity as the brain of an earthworm. PCs may be faster, but are not sentient NOR anywhere near as reliable (you don't see earthworms crashing)." Sue's comment: "Dear Phil, That is fascinating. Do you think I can train an earthworm to send an email?" Phil's reply: "If we can train some of our managers to do it, training an earthworm should be easy..." ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ On that note, we will leave you till next week. Yours in Christ Rocco and Sue. PS If you're aware of any friends who suddenly stopped receiving the Hits! please ask them to email us - we've lost some addresses in the crash of '99! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++